If I were a duck: (most of you can already tell I’m a quack)

• I would be flying across the country.
• My feathers would keep me warm.
• I would be waterproof.
• My face would be more aerodynamic due to my wonderful beak.
• I would need to rearrange my bags on my bicycle to allow my knees to bend backward.
• Cars would stop for me when I was riding on the road instead of trying to run me off it.
• My plumage would be resplendent.
• I wouldn’t need to take showers.
• If I was sleeping in a park, people would give me bread to eat.
• Dogs would still bark at me.
• I’m reminded it’s hunting season…
• If I met up with other ducks they would cheer me on.
• I would know why there are never the same number of ducks on the sides of a flying “V”.
• I could use my wings as a sail when there was a tail wind.
• My feet wouldn’t get cold because of the heat exchange which occurs between the incoming and outgoing blood in my legs.
• When people ask me what I’m doing after this trip I could say I’ll be a sitting duck.
• When cars honk at me, I could honk back.

I can’t think of any more, but feel free to add anything you can think of in the comments.